can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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