youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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