She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
