I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
