If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
