my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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