there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
