Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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