Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
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I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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