My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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