3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
