i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..