You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?