You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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