The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.