are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
