let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize