there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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