Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back