This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
