So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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