yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize