my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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