We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he shaved USA in his pubs
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
