Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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