You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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