It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who died my cat blue again?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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