You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.