I love having hate sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize