Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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