I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way