no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think we might need a safe word for this...