Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
