You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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