I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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