my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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