I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
