I think I am morally bankrupt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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