I hope mine doesn't look like that
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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