I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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