Christians are straight up FREAKS
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.