one two three fourrrrnication!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me