I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.