just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.