OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sex on roller skates
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?