My Higher Power is John Stamos
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head