then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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