How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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