do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
