btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.