it was like eating out sand paper
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
