Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
