Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All the doctor said was why
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
