Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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