So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
