Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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