Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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